A kidnapping happened. A girl is locked up in a small, compact, dark room tied to a chair. She struggles to untie herself and she is crying and in pain because of bruises and small wounds afflicted onto her.
A man, dressed in dark clothes with a whole bunch of guys listening to him. The man is the boss probably. He wants to find the girl no matter what even if it involves killing anyone who gets in his way. The men understands his command.
Another man, looks dorky with ugly clothes works with the police but he is only a laddie. The other man who is playing golf is the detective and he gets a phone call regarding a murder. The laddie becomes very troubled by what he hears and his dream to be a detective instead of a deputy. He decides he must prove to everyone he can crack the case.
The third man is well dressed, professional looking, and looking into a case. He is the brother of the kidnapped girl. He is walking on the streets.
The laddie boy goes on the computer and looks for the phone numbers to find the brother of the kidnapped girl. He finds the phone number and calls the brother to meet up.
The brother and the laddie boy meets up at 6 Pm at a warehouse. The brother reveals he knows where his sister is at because he found the person who is responsible for the kidnappings. The laddie goes into the warehouse with the brother and he shoots the laddie while revealing the sister is kidnapped by him because she knows about his job and his next task. His next task is to kill a famous politician. The brother also says the laddie is getting in his way so he's just a pest. The brother calls the police and says there has been a shooting by some shady looking guys.
The brother hears voices outside, apparently its the boss guy and his henchmen. The brother puts his gun in the laddie's hand and walks away. The police comes and all the shady looking guys were arrested while the boss guy makes a run for it (towards the direction of the brother). The brother pops up and holds another gun up. The boss guy asks why is he doing this? You betrayed your father. The boss guy quickly run towards the brother and knocks the gun of the brothers hand. The boss guy quickly gets the knife hidden in his jacket pocket and stabs the brother in the stomach.
How dramatic Crystal! Well, I think that it is a bit too complicated for our film, and all of the character relationships confuse me a lot. There are too many important characters in this film for a realistic effort, but I like that they have distinct personalities/archetypes, making for a reasonably interesting mix. I guess the laddie survived his gun shot? Or he didn't get shot? I didn't understand that part. I also did not completely understand how it went from the kidnapping to the whole guys stabbing each other and all of that. It started as a kidnapping, so I think that the ending should be more clearly tied to the kidnapping, or at least physically show the kidnapping victim involved in the resolution; you know, a more direct relationship. Even so, as I previously alluded to, your characters can be developed into some interesting parts of the story, but the story needs to be more clear and realistic. I also like how there is a certain social structure among your characters, using power relationships that can be well exploited in a story.
ReplyDeletei like the dramatic elements youre working with here, and i like your opening scene. The plot definitely needs some devolpment and we need to know the motives for the kidnapper, but i think this could add a lot of intense effects to the film. I think your wording is a bit confusing, but your concept is interesting. The relationships between the characters i think needs to be established a little bit clearer, but other than that i think with some development this would be interesting :]
ReplyDeleteyour story has potential but i think you have to develop it more. Try to show the reason for the kidnapping, and make it more interesting, so that u keep your audience drawn into the film.If u develop the plot a bit more i think u have a good treatment that if you follow through will turn out to be a good film.
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